Friday, July 31, 2009

It's Training is Now Complete. "Star Wars" Can Now Be Seen "In Concert"

I can feel a disturbance in the Force. It is as if all of the money from thousands of Star Wars fans was removed from their bank accounts in one swift moment.

Having betrayed loyal fans with mediocre sequels, for which we fanatical Star Wars fans have waited in lines over night in sleeping bags just to buy tickets, George Lucas has found a new way to empty the wallets of Generation X fans who have loved the franchise since they were between the ages of 4 and 10. Lucas knows that regardless of how disappointed fans may be with the narrative of any particular film, those first few measures from the Star Wars theme still sends chills up the spines of Gen X inner children everywhere.

Now fans can wait in digital queues for untold hours in the hopes of getting a chance to fork out $35.00 - $85.00 per seat, in order to avoid paying upwards of $300 per seat to a "ticket agent" to watch Star Wars in Concert. Fans can now go to see a full orchestra play the songs of Star Wars to various High Definition movie clips projected on a big screen in a kind of multimedia "high art" extravaganza where the conductor will pause between sections of the show to describe things like "Leitmotif" (which is pronounced lite-motif not leet-motif -- a leet-motif is that chortle you hear every time you get owned by a 13 year old sniper in Call of Duty) to an audience who would actually be better served attending a performance of Das Rheingold.

Crap. As cynical as I am trying to be, I am finding it very hard not to be one of those Gen X-ers waiting in a virtual queue. There really is something magnificent about John Williams' score -- even in the lesser films.

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