The Number One Reason to Watch CSI:Miami

I was having a conversation with David Chute and Tulkinghorn of The Hungry Ghost a couple of weeks ago, we went out for dumplings, and mentioned that I have a deep and inexplicable affection for CSI: Miami. In particular, I am a huge fan of Horatio Caine. H, as he is called on the show, is who brought me back week after week and made me a fan. I started out merely making fun of the character, but I eventually got sucked in to what is actually quite a good show.

I still make fun of H, but now I both mock and adore him. You see, the character of Horatio Caine is a combination of all my entertainment vices. He is overly dramatic like Captain Kirk. He never has to fill out paperwork for any of his many shootings. He is the CSI equivalent of Doc Savage: the Man of Bronze, he's even semi-bronzish. As Ray Richmond of Past Deadline states, "a character name that tells you all you need to know in two words." In addition, I can think of almost no better representation of the D&D Paladin class than Horatio Caine, the obvious exception is Paksenarrion. He is Lawful Good to the core, but is also smart/savvy enough to defeat those who manipulate the law in order to gain freedom. God help you if you ever raise his wrath in a situation where he has the legal authority to cap your ass, because he will. He is relentless in the pursuit of evil, sympathetic to the victim, and punishes those who take the law into their own hands. If there was anything "supernatural" on CSI: Miami, I am certain that H could "turn undead."

Long story short, David Chute sent me a link which included this collection of H one liners. It really is absurd how seriously David Caruso delivers these lines, but he is extraordinarily consistent in his performance of Caine. In fact, my next D&D character is totally going to be based on him.

H
"What do we have Rogue?"

ROGUE

"A Locked Door."

H

"Somebody doesn't want us going in..."

ROGER DALTRY

"YEAH!"