Dungeons & Dragons and Bicycles

A Guest Post by Kevin Vasquez

Kevin recently sent me this essay describing his quest to get my family the limited edition d20 Popcorn bucket and D&D mug that AMC released for the D&D movie. I had no idea how challenging it would be for him to acquire them, but I am eternally grateful that he took the time and effort (and it was a lot of effort) to go on this quest. I don’t know how this essay makes me look as a friend, but it is a great example of how good a friend Kevin is and is aspirational for me in my own friendships. — Christian Lindke

It’s been a little over a year since the Dungeons and Dragons movie starring Chris Pine and Michelle Rodriguez came out to a lot of praise and fanfare from D&D fans and the general public, which included my good friend Christian and me. The film is not only a love letter to the game and culture created by Gary Gygax and Dave Arneson, but it was also just a fun watch, so much so that I saw it in theaters 3 separate times. I watched it alone, took a girl on a date to see it, and went with all my friends who know little to nothing about Dungeons and Dragons, and I even ended up watching it with my pops when it came to streaming. (He enjoyed it) The movie was fun and hit the notes that I would want from a Dungeons and Dragons movie, especially considering the 2000 movie and its lackluster straight to video sequels. Overall, the movie was great, but the factor that makes the movie memorable in my mind is a sentimental adventure that I undertook for a friend that happened alongside the movie’s release.  

The movie has a special place in my heart, not only because it’s fun to watch and discuss with friends, but one of the big reasons why the movie has a personal memory is due to having to undergo my own quest for D&D swag for my friend. This all began with one of my weekly talks with my good friend Christian on the Friday of the movie’s release, and the movie’s release came up in conversation as we were both excited to watch the movie once it hit theaters. The big thing that I was unaware of was that there was swag from AMC for the movie's release, a D20 popcorn bucket and mug, that Christian was unable to get due to there not being any AMC’s near him. Being that I had a lot of AMC’s near me, he asked if I could see if I could get him the D20 bucket and mug for him when I would go to watch the movie, and I said, “Of course, what are bros for?” I thought nothing of it at the time, and it would become an interesting and fun Saturday.

I originally bought my tickets for Sunday since I wanted to take Saturday to laze around for the day and do as little as possible. Something felt weird about the day as I had a feeling of urgency in my gut that compelled me before midday to go out and buy the items I said I would get for Christian as I was sitting on the couch watching TV with my sister. Thus, I looked up where the nearest AMC theater was located and saw that it was 6 miles away, so I decided that it was close enough to cycle to and back. The wind in my hair, the sun still rising,  Minor Threat in my ears, and the LA smog in the air, it was the beginning of a long day unknowingly to me. 

I arrived at the first AMC with no problems and I walked inside towards the bar to then be directed by the bartender to the concessions for the D20 popcorn bucket and mug that I was after. Upon greeting the cashier and asking for the items, they informed me that they had plenty of the D20 popcorn buckets but had just sold the last mug not too long before I had arrived. I bought the bucket, cursed my laziness in the morning and paced outside  questioning what my next move was going to be. I knew there were more AMC theaters in the area and was determined to get the mug. The worst that could happen was that even if I had not gotten the mug, it would still be an interesting story. I looked up if there were any other AMCs in the area, and to my surprise there was another one only 2 miles away and thus I resolved to get back on my bicycle on pedal onwards. The thought that this would be easy and a little detour was nothing that jumped in my mind with each block I passed. There was a steep incline that went on for ⅔ of the last mile that the GPS left out. The sun beating on me and with my quads gassed due to not pacing myself for a bike ride that was turning into what would become a small marathon, was only the beginning. Arriving on top of the hill, I’m baptized in sweat with the fire rising from my quadriceps as I continue to make my way to the theater.  

Arriving at the second location, I ran up a lot of stairs to get to the 2nd AMC on the second floor of the plaza it was situated in to be greeted by a smiling usher and the cool breeze from the AC. Asking if they had any more D&D mugs available, I was directed to concessions where I was disappointed to learn that there were no more. Defeated, I walked out and sat on a bench as I contemplated what my next move was going to be moving forward. My throat was dry, not even my sweat could conjure up any relief, only salt. I’m far from home and looking to see if there are any AMC theaters nearby to test my luck again, there was, five miles away at Universal Studios City Walk. I contemplate if the journey was worth it, “I’m already this far,” I thought to myself, and if I were to go home to drive to City Walk, it would just waste more time and have me retrace more steps since I was already so close. Just to be sure, I ended up calling the theater to inquire about the mugs and the lady on the other end had told me, “We have a few left, but if you want one you should come in now.” After ending the call, “Why not,” I proclaimed as I bought and downed an espresso energy drink. I mounted  my trusty bike again to make my way on a precarious path that Google Maps was setting me on. 

Weaving through the streets and unfamiliar roads I have never been on, I tried to make sense of the confusing directions that the Google maps had me going to only be set upon a closed underpass that smelled sour. This is where I had to go on my own and had to walk beside a freeway and hillside homes to cross roads not meant for pedestrians, let alone a regular guy on his bicycle with a D20 popcorn bucket in his backpack. I walked up another incline, except this time it was a highway with the cars buzzing to the left of me to wind up an even steeper corkscrew street. Atop of the small world, I catch the breeze over a bridge and glide down under a tree as Google maps believes there are sidewalks where there are none. A steep hill and breath later, the GPS betrays me as it tells me to cut through an elementary school that’s closed and has no other way through the section of homes and foliage. I looked around for any other way to pass since my other options were to take a chance on a one way road or make my way around the hillside houses and winding roads. I see a path that’s impassable by foot and bicycle, and in front of me a fence not too high to climb but too cumbersome to have a bicycle on my person while trying to climb it. A realization hits me as I see an opening to the side of the school with a narrow pass of tall grass and trees. I begin to make my way to the foliage to the side as I cross tall grass and a steel wire fence with lost toys and treasures along the way. Arriving on the other side of a forgotten forest, I catch my thoughts and make way for the street.

The street opens up to me and I can finally ride freely as I am ever closer to the plaza and the theater, hoping that they still have the mug in stock. The highway comes into view and I see the street with the gate and banners welcoming guests to the plaza and the park. My legs are heavy and hot, I feel the dried salt on my skin, yet a smile gleams on my face as I walk up towards the parking lot to make my way to the parking lot. I lock up my trusty bike and make my way towards the AMC with each step increasing the anticipation in mind on whether I will get the mug or if it will all be for not. The AMC is dressed up for the Mario movie, as I walk through the pipe and am greeted by an usher and the cool breeze of the AC to be directed towards the bar for the mug. I take a seat, and the bartender asks, “What’s my poison?” I responded, “A D&D mug.” His eyes light up and he tells me that he’ll have to check if they have any left, as he walks to check behind the counter he says to me, “It’s your lucky day, you’ve got the last one.” My exhaustion fades aways, I start to laugh, and I fumble for my wallet to finish the transaction and I call up Christian in stupor to give him the good news. I sit and try to ring him up only to get his voicemail, I tell him to call me back and wait. A few minutes pass, Christian texts me back, I call, we talk, and the story of my quest for the holy mug is shared as he has a laugh from the entire trip I went on. I began to prepare myself for the trek back home once I had caught my breath and freshened up in the restroom.  

I walk back to my bicycle with a smile and chuckles under my breath as my weariness leaves my body. The sun is setting and I have a long ride ahead of me. It’s funny, I don’t feel the weight in my backpack or any soreness in my body, just the gratification of getting the items of my little quest to get my friend some D&D swag. I mount up and go on my way back home. Retracing my steps back the way I came was easier than I imagined and took less time than guessing a clear way to the park. Riding through the streets, back through the side of the school, crossing through Hollywood back towards home. 

Blocks passed by as my body began to remind me that I haven’t eaten since the morning and I haven’t drank anything other than a coffee energy drink a couple hours ago. I sweated enough to baptize myself twice, my stomach rumbled and my throat was drier than Death Valley as the adrenaline and dopamine from accomplishing my quest was wearing off. Muscling through only got me so far until I couldn’t go on any longer.  I stopped to catch my breath for the first time in the entire bike trek. It was brief but refreshing as I saw that I was less than 3 miles away from home. I get back on my bike, and begin pedaling again. The last mile always seems the longest of the journey back. I stop a couple blocks away from home for a final reprieve from the soreness before arriving home. I arrive home, banter with my folks about where I’ve been all day, and I finally feel the grime and sweat on my body that’s accumulated through the miles of peddling under the sun. I unload my backpack to send a picture to Christian of the goods as I take one more look at the items that had taken me across town and I get into the shower to be alone with my thoughts. . . It was a good day.